X-Factor: Part Five

afrosamuraiI had a majorly hectic manic weekend and so this is going to be a truncated X-Factor post. All I managed to watch was the results show, so I will do a quick update on that. I’m not going to comment on each contestant as I don’t have Sky+ and our internet connection in the middle of nowhere is so slow as to make watching the updates online make me feel like Matthew Broderick in War Games.

Basically the salient points of interest were:

  1. The Charity Single This filled me with enough horror as to almost ruin Christmas and that normally requires at least a Cliff Richard single, an Iceland Xmas advert or Children in Need. Firstly they hit us with a guilt trip and then the wannabees wander on, spick and span all in white, trying to look good. I did notice that John & Edwards ‘singing’ section was limited to a short…moan? Bleat? What was it? I don’t know. They are the Sigue Sigue Sputnik of X-Factor. I bloody hated the song in it’s original form, so getting a bunch of fame-hungry desperadoes to sing it in choir form is not going to persuade me to part with my hard earned. I thought it interesting that Joe was the lead – are they grooming him for ‘stardom’?
  2. Danni’s Outfit For a second I had to do a quick channel check and make sure we weren’t watching The Fifth Element on Channel 5. She also looked a little bit like an inhabitant of Zion from one of the terrible Matrix films (2&3). Also, I am no expert in cosmetic surgery, but I do have a cursory knowledge of the ageing process and more than a passing acquaintance with gravity, enough to know with reasonable assurance that a woman of her age cannot possess free standing norks without some form of structural enhancement. Maybe there were wires involved, she certainly looks like a marionette from Thunderbirds.
  3. Jamie Going Jamie was steadily, grindingly going downhill. I hope he was just living a rock and roll lifestyle a al Motley Crew, and his gradual slide into mediocrity was due to burning the candle at both ends. I fear, though, that Louie him nailed from day one and saw that he really had only limited potential. It is a shame as I loved his audition, but is it just me? Or was he slowly morphing into a big haired, singing Jamie Oliver?

That’s it, sorry for the brevity, but I was just so busy.

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3 thoughts on “X-Factor: Part Five

  1. The charity single is pretty horrendous and the song is awful, but at least they’re turning the popularity of the show towards a good cause. I also don’t really begrudge some of the crapper contestants their one chance to have a hit single. They’ve provided us with entertainment – even if they are rubbish.

    Dannii’s outfits are extremely intriguing. I remember describing one of her outfits as “Dannii’s dress looked like what the most glamourous woman in a post apocalyptic society would wear (sparkly tatty sack).” (from http://poursomegravyonme.co.uk/2009/10/26/the-x-factor-finals-week-3/). They’ve only got more bizarre since then.

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