X-Factor: Part Five

George Michael week.

Now, just roll that sentence around your mouth and savour it. If you’re anything like me you’ll be reaching for the Listerine sharpish. In my humble opinion downloads have adversely affected the desirability of George Michael albums in the last few years in that you can no longer use them as coasters.

I digress.

Yet again, I missed Saturday night’s show as I was out in London (where I went to see the Anish Kapoor which is awesome…if you’re interested) but I did manage to catch the Results show. I found the show pretty tough viewing, though; not only did we have to sit through Susan Boyle literally murdering Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones…then we had the freakshow that is Mariah Carey – and I don’t care what she sings, it’s always going to be gruesome – and then the shock of Olly being in the bottom two. Olly! In the bottom two!

Anyway, I can’t really judge their Saturday night performances as I only got the catch up and I hate George Michael songs; so it’s like a perfect storm of excuses. All I had to go on was what I saw on Sunday and to be perfectly honest I liked neither performance. I thought Jedward were bang on form: terrible and Olly made a terrible song choice; it’s, like, the worst Eric Clapton song ever. He needs to pick something with more soul. He’s got the voice, he’s got the moves, milk it baby.

As we all know by now, The Brothers Grimm have scuttled back under whatever rock they emerged from and though they were totally annoying, they were at least entertaining. Now that X-Factor is getting down to the sharp end I am not sure that I care too much who wins it but my money is on Joe – I would like Olly to win mainly because I think that when he gets a bit of cash in his pocket and his face plastered over the tabloids he is going to have it large; date a page three girl, buy a speedboat and have his own Olly does ibiza show on ITV2 – the whole nine yards.

Can’t wait.

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