I like tinsel, presents, fake snow, real snow, santa, christmas specials on TV, Brussels’s sprouts, mulled wine. I love it all. People who don’t, who give all this: it’s just one big corporate slapdown, capitalism’s way of dictating the buying habits of the proletariat want to spread their own misery and take away the pleasure of shopping off the chain.
I do, however, agree: companies use Christmas to sell more stuff. Oh-my-god! No! That’s terrible! Really? Yes, it’s true; Argos – without any real sign of corporate guilt – use the birth of baby Jesus to make money out of us poor, unthinking, susceptible punters. The rest of the year they gently market their wares to the discernable shopper in reasonable, neutral tones. Yeah, right…
So, the point of my post: another bloggerist has promised me a voucher if I’ll plug her competition and because I have absolutely no shame it is here: competition. The comp has some kind of link to Western Union, so click the link and start transferring money around the globe in a completely non-dodgy, non drug-dealery way.
The idea of the competition is to think of the worst Christmas present that you ever received. That led me to thinking that my own hall of fame is headed by a present bought by my brother (sorry bro’…): a dancing coke can. I was quite young at the time, so my brother can be forgiven for not trying too hard, but it’s still awful because I never knew what to do with it.
All it did was this: when music comes on – or another loud noise – it dances. What do you do with a dancing coke can? I like Coca-Cola and all, but I don’t need a dancing homage to the brand. I don’t dance around my bedroom like Ferris Beuller and I wouldn’t be more inclined if I had a faux tin-can dance partner. What is the point? Answers on a post card please….