M.A.D Award

Some dumb-ass fool has nominated me for a MAD. I love what they’ve done here: Mum and Dad makes the acronym M.A.D and is also a reference to the ker-razy life one leads being a parent (‘I’ve got two kids, I’m mad me – bonkers!’) This kind of dual-action, double meaning wordplay makes me want to jump in the air and click my heels like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. Really, it does.

I clicked through to their website and saw with a mounting sense of horror that they are sponsered by Butlins* and that if I were to win one of these awards my family and I might have to live POW style in some camp in Lowestoft with our only salvation some weak plastic spades that we could use in an escape attempt. This, however, proved to be a slanderous falsehood and M.A.D (‘I’ve got vomit in my hair – it’s bananas in our house!’) are actually giving real stuff – stuff you’d actually want – to winners of the awards.

I’ve been nominated for two awards; Blog of the Year and Funniest Blog. The first ain’t gonna happen because I am sure Alpha Mummy and Wife in the North are blitzkrieging the MAD (‘I’ve got a piece of Playdoh wedged in my arsecrack – it’s a mad round ours!’) offices with promises of chocolate brownies in the shape of the MAD (‘I woke up with no eyebrows! Those crazy kids!’) logo and free product placement for perpetuity. Added to this fact that the judges are probably reading this post so I am doubly buggered (I am sure there is a pornography technical term for this…).

So, what could I win then? Well…

  1. iPhone 3Gs I already have one, Ebay!
  2. Flip HD Video Camera I already have one of these too, Ebay!
  3. Dell 15″ Studio Laptop I have an iMac and a powerbook so having a PC darken my apartment, unless used as a tea tray or something, would be pointless, EBAY!
  4. £200 worth of John Lewis vouchers Now you’re talking. Add this this the above Ebay totals and we’re talking flat screen, HD tv. Rockstar.

I don’t know how they judge it; whether you have to get loads of nominations and then you win (which is like saying that Will Young is better than Neil Young) or once you get nominated the judges read all the blogs and then pick the best. If it’s he former then vote for me as I really want a flat screen TV; if voting makes no difference then wish me luck because I would love an award just as an acknowledgement of what I am doing.

Anyway: Just vote for me: funniest blog award and blog of the year. For the kids, man. They want a bigger tele.

* Butlins is, I am told, bloody awesome if you have young children when being in a minimum security compound has distinct advantages. I don’t think they have alsatians and guard towers or anything. But they do wear quasi-military uniforms, which is a worry.

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10 thoughts on “M.A.D Award

  1. Oh bugger I’d already done my nominations before I read this. If you get lots of nominations and end up in the top 5 then I might vote for you, if only for your poor children’s telly needs.
    Will come and visit again – I like your style.

    1. S’all right.

      Read some of your blog this morning. Can’t believe you have nearly given up booze. I am trying to take it up, I just don’t have the time to actually drink it…

  2. I’ve already done my nominations I’m afraid, very funny post though – perhaps they should have made the Butlins prize a reverse incentive – the person with the least nominations is sent there for a week to think about how rubbish they are.

    1. Don’t worry – but when we go head to head for blog of the year, the gloves come off…

      Everyone I have spoken to who has actually been to Butlins says it’s good; that your expectations – fed on a diet of Carry On films and Hi-De-Hi – are set so low that anything up from Guantamano Bay is a plus.

  3. Now now, could be worse. Day Six of World of the Volcano and we’re stuck at Club Med Tunisia. Bit like Butlins (admittedly with sun) but with French around the pool dancing in sync to obscure Gallic ditties. Nice croissants, though. Really hope you win, not least to hear your acceptance speech.

    1. Let me know when the novelty wears off. IF you have to come overland you can always crash here halfway….

      If I win I am going to attempt to do a Halle Berry (note dudicious use of the word a) and weep…a lot.

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